I dunno if "perfect" is the right word but I WANT ONE ANYWAY!!

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turkeyrun

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When the pepper sprays were new, late '80s or so; I worked with an obnoxious ass that joined Sheriff dept, as a reserve.
He carried pepper spray in his back pocket.
One Sunday, he goes to Golden Corral. It is packed to capacity. A table full of old, blue haired, church ladies is seated behind him. He goes to get up, pepper spray hooks on chair and he sprays several tables. One of the old ladies swings her purse and lands it right between his eyes.

Cops arrive, several ambulance and manager told him to never return. Church ladies tried to file charges, but Cops covered for him and wrote it up as an accident.
 

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