Any advice?

[Fyrtwuck]

It is not kidnapping, it is non-custodial child stealing. It's a Civil matter. You will have to contact your attorney and get him to file for a contempt of court order and the judge will order the child returned. Taking the child across state lines makes things more complicated, but even if the parent is non-custodial, the PD can't take the child away without a court order giving them the authority.

 

[candrpotts]

It is not kidnapping, it is non-custodial child stealing. It's a Civil matter. You will have to contact your attorney and get him to file for a contempt of court order and the judge will order the child returned. Taking the child across state lines makes things more complicated, but even if the parent is non-custodial, the PD can't take the child away without a court order giving them the authority.

Taking the child across state lines makes it federal. Unless I'm way off base here, full custody to mother is a court order and gives the PD authority to act

 

[nofearfactor]

You married the woman you married her kids too, it is your problem, but just as your wifes backup and support person, let lawyers and the legal system do their jobs.

 

[Chibellie]

Hi! Blino's wife here. Yes, I agree with you nofearfactor, he married me, he married the kids too. Most marriage and family counselors will tell someone that. In the same respect, you marry to person, you marry their family--so it would be good if they like each other. That said, this is the same child that called Blino her "Forever Dad." She is an advanced child in many ways and it would seem she is already becoming a teenager before the official teens. She just turned 12 years old in May. She started her womanly stuff (trying not to be too gross here for some people) earlier this year around late winter/early spring. So starts the attitudes and mood swings.

I can't do anything with the police...yet. Technically on paper, he is authorized to have her for the two weeks before school starts. EVEN THOUGH HE'S NEVER TAKEN THIS PART OF THE VISITATION BEFORE. I can guaran-damn-tee you that he won't be having July after this if I have anything to do with it, not the entire month anyway. Being nice is about to get thrown out the window. He took advantage this time and is now pulling this. So fine, I will wait for his time to run out, which will be the weekend of the 15th. I started homeschooling her last year and I have her scheduled to start August 17th for this year.

I have researched what I can do. Once his time is officially up with her and he has her during a time I am supposed to have her ON PAPER, yes, I can go and file a contempt of court charge on him for violating visitation orders. The judge will then order law enforcement to go get her and bring her home. I'm sure our LEOs will then work with their LEOs.

I did call for a welfare check on her. The LEO that spoke to me on the phone was very polite and helpful. He seemed to want to help me out the best way he could. I explained the situation and he said that I could feel free to call welfare checks on her all day if I wanted to, but it would be best to do it when my ex is home. I thanked him for his helpful information and added that I am not the type to just call in excessively; I prefer to do that when it will be effective. I will wait for him to be home before I do that again. I'm not one to waste their time when they could be doing something more important. She could be over at a relative's house today. He may be trying to cover his bases even though she is old enough to be left alone. I am curious though:

If he is home and he doesn't answer the door, does that do anything for our case?
I do suspect he is smoking pot, how do I go about that?

On a separate, but very much related note. My dad is still trying to get custody of my daughter. He insists that he isn't trying to get custody, but that is what he is doing with having taken me to court for something that doesn't exist, "grandparents' rights" back in 2012 and 2013 while I was pregnant with Blino's and my first child together. The Oklahoma Supreme Court already ruled grandparents' rights unconstitutional because it takes too much power away from the parents. The only grandparents' rights that exist are the ones where both parents have died, one or both parents are doing drugs, or the parent(s) are abusive to the child(ren), and they need to be re-homed for one or multiple of the listed reasons. Grandparents then get first dibs on taking the children if they want to and have the ability to do so. I told my dad then that he would have to prove me an unfit parent to get his way. He had three points to prove and in the end the only one that applied was that I was divorced ("the child's nuclear family is dissolved"). There was no abuse to be shown, no unfit parenting to be proven. Dad told me this last Thursday the whole point of why he took me to court was to get Blino out of her education. Maybe so, but that certainly isn't their place either; they've raised their children, now let me raise mine. No, they can't do that. They are very controlling and would love nothing more than to put me back under their thumb and control my daughter as well.

My parents have been talking to my ex and visiting my daughter down in Texas during his visitation time. He tells me that she hates her baby brothers and Oklahoma as a whole, and wants to live with her Texas dad. My father is basically offering to swoop in and "rescue us" from my ex. He is currently offering us to stay rent free at his mother's house and just pitch in help for the electric bill. Umm no, thank you. V would live at their house giving them temporary custody for two years. Umm, hell to the no. They would love nothing more than to put me back under their control. I would sooner live free in a crappy part of town because it is what I can afford than a gilded cage where it is all paid for or mostly in this case, but be controlled. My lawyer friend that took the case against my dad the first time says not to sign anything of his; I said I'm not going to.

I have also figured out if he enrolls her in school down there right now, he is also in contempt of court because to do so he would have to have a signed and possibly notarized document from me stating that I give him permission to enroll her. Problem concerning that on his end is that she doesn't live there year round. Hence why he is going after custody.

I wrestle with many feelings right now. Do I just give in and let him take her? Do I fight for her? If I give in, it would make some aspects of life for us easier. On the flip side, if I let her go, I am letting her go live in a house full of men--many of which are not related to her. Her dad would be the only one; he rents out the other rooms to two or three other men. There have been many men in and out of his house; usually leaving because they lose their jobs and can't afford rent anymore. Let's not forget about his suspected pot use. He is also a Furry. If I need to explain that, I will. Otherwise, google Furry or Furries. They are people who dress in animal costumes and basically have orgies. Alcohol and (for some groups) illegal drug use is common at these parties.

I can not afford to pay him child support. It makes no financial sense for me to go back to work; I'd be handing my paycheck to the daycare I'd have to put my (come November) 3 sons into and possibly pick up a second job to cover her child support. I'd wouldn't see Blino or my sons hardly ever. It would make sense at that point to just cut her free and sign away my parental right to her which would free me from paying child support. If he is in cahoots with my parents to shuffle her off on to them, that's her problem. She doesn't want to go live with them (or so she has told me), but she will have to pay the consequences of her actions and choices. I love her, I always will. Doesn't mean I like what she does or will sacrifice the welfare of my sons for her selfish whims.

 

[Oklahomabassin]

A few months ago, when the house was damaged from the tornado, were you, Blino and the kids living with your parents or his parents?

 

[Chibellie]

We were living with Blino's parents. We were in the process of buying the house; they were looking to move out this month (August) before the tornado happened.

 

[Oklahomabassin]

Ok. Wish yall the best of luck.

 

[Chibellie]

I haven't lived with my parents since February 2010 when I moved out. They did everything in their power to keep me under their thumb from taking most of my paychecks for bills to controlling and disciplining my daughter just because we lived under their roof. They have no boundaries when it comes to control.

 

[Chibellie]

Ok. Wish yall the best of luck.

Thanks!

 

[Progun223]

If my 12 year old daughter was in another state illegally living with a bunch of doper perverts, I'd be kicking in doors with gats. I'm not recommending that, but that's what I would do. I'm not scared of jail.