Not sure who this is addressed to, but I'll tackle it.
No, gross violence is not "ok". However, speaking for my family, we have many many times sat down with my son and discussed the violence that is pervasive in ALL TV these days, from children's cartoons to movies and TV shows. He is well aware of the difference between fiction and real life. He understands monsters are not real and that fighting and violence is not something condoned. It is simply entertainment. Boys have been playing soldier and cowboys and Indians since time began, essentially. He swordfights as Zorro, as Darth Vader or Darth Maul, plays as a Transformer or shoots as a GI Joe or Ironman. He knows it is not real.
As for sexuality and graphic language, I know he will be exposed to it eventually, and already has been to a small degree. But those things are harder to separate from everyday use, because it IS an everyday thing for a lot of people. We simply choose to limit his exposure to those things to help him develop a solid foundation for acceptable (to us) everyday behavior. Damn and hell are seen in TV shows constantly, although he doesn't watch much of that stuff. It's not prevalent on the shows he watches or cartoons. We pre-screen movies for the most part to filter out those things, which is why we haven't let him see Transformers 2 or 3, GI Joe or some others... even though those should be pure children's franchises (IMNSHO), the producers have seen fit to allow them to be degraded with things not appropriate (again IMNSHO) for young children.
I know lots of people let their children watch such things, and just think, "Oh, they're not paying attention to that stuff." I think that's BS. I think they pick up a LOT more than parents think. I see parents every day at work letting their 2-5 y/o children watch shows like The Family Guy or Adult Swim, thinking it's ok just because it's a cartoon. All the while, sucking down their own 20 oz Mt Dew or Dr. Pepper. I think they will wonder one day why their children behave poorly or talk back to them, curse and use foul language and such. I don't even let my son watch Spongebob, because I don't like his attitude and the way he and other characters speak... not foul language, necessarily, just disrespectfully.
As for us, I think for our family, it's working. My son answers, "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" and uses "Please" and "Thank you" nearly all the time. He orders his own food at restaurants, speaking politely to waitstaff and showing appreciation for their service. He personally picks toys out of his own collection to donate to other children at Christmas, and he truly enjoys taking money he's earned from his own piggy bank to buy a special toy for another child at Christmas. He eagerly runs to open doors for people, especially the elderly. They are always appreciative, and most of the time shocked out of their minds to see a young man (he's almost 7) with such good manners.
So, much as some might roll their eyes, it seems to be working for us, so I'll stick with it, for now.
