I guess I got what I deserved.

[Lurker66]

Heres mine. Showering as usual, grabbed shapoo, its empty, grabbed another, empty too. Seen a shiney tube of stuff, said something about enhancer or something. Squirted a big handfull and lathered up.

Did my hair, face and armpits as thats my ritual. Started the rinse process and GEEZ O PETE IM BLEEDIN TO DEATH. Red stuff everywhere. I scrubbed, jumped out, toweled off.

Friggin Red hair dye!!! Had to buzz my head.

 

[radarmonkey]

I think we have a winner!

Heres mine. Showering as usual, grabbed shapoo, its empty, grabbed another, empty too. Seen a shiney tube of stuff, said something about enhancer or something. Squirted a big handfull and lathered up.

Did my hair, face and armpits as thats my ritual. Started the rinse process and GEEZ O PETE IM BLEEDIN TO DEATH. Red stuff everywhere. I scrubbed, jumped out, toweled off.

Friggin Red hair dye!!! Had to buzz my head.

 

[Glocktogo]

After a long cold afternoon outside today I decided the best way to warm up tonight would be to take a scalding hot shower. So I did. While I was in the shower I was looking at the sundry of bottles my wife keeps in there to wash, wax, detail and polish herself and spotted a tube labeled Deep Hydrating Cleanser made by a company called Burt's Bees. Burt's Bees, I now know, is wholly owned and operated by the Spawn of Satan. Me, being the brainiac I am, decided to use this pleasantly orangey smelling concotion to shave my face with. I can tell you, that is the first and last time I EVER use one of my wife's products for anything short of stripping paint off of concrete. Holy crap, that bottle needs a friggin haz-mat placard. I think it stripped about 3 layers of skin off of my face. It burned so bad I couldn't leave it on my face to shave with. I really don't know what my wife does with that stuff and I don't think I really want to know. Hats off to you ladies, from now on, I'm sticking to my bar soap.

Could've been worse. At least you didn't try to manscape with it!

 

[Wild Weasel]

Ok here is my story.........While deployed to the middle east, I had a stretch where I shaved my chest and then didn't. Well it was time again. It had been months so I decided I would use some Nair..........HOLY CRAP....I applied it all over my chest....(I didn't read the fine print)..........Well after a short amount of time..... my nipples were on freaking fire........Well I'm glad it was my day off because my nipples were hard for about 8 hours, bright red, and it seemed even blowing on them hurt.....I couldn't put a shirt back on the rest of the day........so don't feel bad......I felt really retarded...........

Now I know what to get you for Christmas next year!!!!

 

[bigchuck83]

HAHA! what man hasn't learned a lesson like that the hard way. I learned to keep MY razor locked up after my ex used the last new blade to shave her legs with, didn't tell me so when i decided to shave one morning i thought i had forgotten how to shave overnight. never bled so much from cuts on my face before in my life, looked like i had a fight with freddy kruger or something. WTF is a womans leg hair made of anyways? i've never seen a new blade be so destroyed after one use.

 

[Model 70]

HAHA! what man hasn't learned a lesson like that the hard way. I learned to keep MY razor locked up after my ex used the last new blade to shave her legs with, didn't tell me so when i decided to shave one morning i thought i had forgotten how to shave overnight. never bled so much from cuts on my face before in my life, looked like i had a fight with freddy kruger or something. WTF is a womans leg hair made of anyways? i've never seen a new blade be so destroyed after one use.

Same experience and thoughts. Do they still make styptic pens?

 

[brennan]

Same experience and thoughts. Do they still make styptic pens?

Yes they do.

 

[BadgeBunny]

Oh my ... You guys ...

I've been trying my gut-level best to hack up my lungs since yesterday morning. This thread has caused me to accomplish what I could not do on my own ... Thanks for the laughs guys!!

 

[druryj]

I had a similar experience, albeit not as painful.

One cold morning three years ago:
I get dressed in the dark, as not to wake my wife. In the winter my hands crack and bleed in the cold unless I use lotion.
My wife keeps a big jug of hand lotion on her side of the bed. One morning, I stumbled over in the dark to the lotion pump, and dole out four or five good doses. I noticed it smelled good, had too much on my hands, and decided to apply the excess to my face. You know, instead of wiping my hands on my business slacks and coat.

Anyways, I go to work, meet with the leadership team of my company (including CEO and VP of Sales), and proceed to take part in one of the bigger sales proposals the company gave that year - in front of the customer's brass. Things go great!
It is mid-morning before I finally have the chance to hit the head. As I am washing my hands, I stare up in the mirror and notice I have a bunch of glitter all over my face. That 'lotion' I applied hours earlier and rubbed on my cheeks gave me the appearance of a male twinky stripper.

No one in my company, nor the customer's company had mentioned this to me. For once, the term 'FML' actually meant something to me.

P.S.: We sold that customer on our multi-million dollar proposal, so from that day forward all my co-workers wanted me to apply stripper lotion as a good luck charm every time we pitched a sale.

I did almost the same thing but turns out it was that Insta-Tan crap. I had an orange colored mug and hands for days.

 

[tntrex]

I can see why this happens.

Those freaking bottles they buy arent even in english! Or if they are, it's all foo foo words we dont know what the hell they mean.