Need advice between a rock and a hard spot

[reddog1]

It is sad to have to feel the pain seeing him go through this. However I my mother is the one mainly in this, in the sense of time, $, being put out. I just offer advice and try to encourage him. HE thinks small and in a box when it comes to his life, and that is it. No doors out, no windows to dream, but in a box. I said…you get what you settle for. He is happy having a cig to smoke, and relaxing being a loner.

I was the EXACT SAME way, then I had a little 4 month + stay in the couty jail.

3 days would have done the trick for me, however, it was just a tad longer than that.

Something just clicked after that.

Here i am almost 15 years later, an upstanding US Slave.

 

[reddog1]

However there is a dark side to it as well. He could become a hardened criminal, or be raped, etc.

Naaa, he will be alright. Tell him to keep his nose on his face, and his ass to the wall. A few bean soup dinners will do him some good.

 

[Dr. HK]

I havent gave my mother the link here. However I gave her the general consensus here. To let him go to jail.

I was the EXACT SAME way, then I had a little 4 month + stay in the couty jail.

3 days would have done the trick for me, however, it was just a tad longer than that.

Something just clicked after that.

Here i am almost 15 years later, an upstanding US Slave.

 

[Dr. HK]

Naaa, he will be alright. Tell him to keep his nose on his face, and his ass to the wall. A few bean soup dinners will do him some good.

good signature quote right there. LOL

 

[reddog1]

This type of thing is VERY hard to deal with man.

Like I said, I send prayers Brother.

 

[BIG_MIKE2005]

However there is a dark side to it as well. He could become a hardened criminal, or be raped, etc.

I wouldn't worry about that happening unless he already has criminal tendency outside DUI. Most guys who go in & come out hardened criminals were regular criminals before they ever went in. People who go in just to do their time & keep to themselves are usually just fine. Now if he was goin in for some type of sexual crimes or something similar I'd be worried but for DUI charges most guys will just let you be unless you make it a point to make enemies once inside.

 

[Dr. HK]

I wouldn't worry about that happening unless he already has criminal tendency outside DUI. Most guys who go in & come out hardened criminals were regular criminals before they ever went in. People who go in just to do their time & keep to themselves are usually just fine. Now if he was goin in for some type of sexual crimes or something similar I'd be worried but for DUI charges most guys will just let you be unless you make it a point to make enemies once inside.

Just two DUIs and now his recent arrest. He is in construction so he is a pretty solid dude about 250 lbs at 6'

 

[reddog1]

I wouldn't worry about that happening unless he already has criminal tendency outside DUI. Most guys who go in & come out hardened criminals were regular criminals before they ever went in. People who go in just to do their time & keep to themselves are usually just fine. Now if he was goin in for some type of sexual crimes or something similar I'd be worried but for DUI charges most guys will just let you be unless you make it a point to make enemies once inside.

^^this^^ Mind yer own business, dont stare, keep yer mouth shut, Dont be a wuss, Dont accept ANYTHING from anyone, and dont GIVE anything to anyone.

He will get "tested" to see if he is a little biatch though. Usually something simple, like your dessert, or a pair of socks. if he allows it, it will progressivly get alot worse.

One of the times it happened to me I was laying on my bunk with the door open, and the Hoova Crips were playing cards, and smikong cigs in the "day room"
All of a sudden SMACK... my door was hit with a paper cup full of pork and beans.

I walked down the steps, to see 4 / 4 man steel picnic tables full of Crips playing cards and laughing it up.

I was SCARED S**TLESS

But I know I have to say/do somthing, so I paced for about 30 seconds, and said out loud

"who egged my house"

no reply....

I then said it in a loud voice "WHO EGGED MY HOUSE??"

and the youngest fella who was being held for murder1 with no bail, said "It was me Red, I didnt mean it, I will come clean it up in a min"

I was like "ok"

Went back up to my cell, and damn near lost my breath thinking "THANK YOU GOD" over and over.

What a freaking nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dr. HK]

Holy cow!! That is something else. You were lucky, he was lucky he decided to go clean it up rather than fight.

^^this^^ Mind yer own business, dont stare, keep yer mouth shut, Dont be a wuss, Dont accept ANYTHING from anyone, and dont GIVE anything to anyone.

He will get "tested" to see if he is a little biatch though. Usually something simple, like your dessert, or a pair of socks. if he allows it, it will progressivly get alot worse.

One of the times it happened to me I was laying on my bunk with the door open, and the Hoova Crips were playing cards, and smikong cigs in the "day room"
All of a sudden SMACK... my door was hit with a paper cup full of pork and beans.

I walked down the steps, to see 4 / 4 man steel picnic tables full of Crips playing cards and laughing it up.

I was SCARED S**TLESS

But I know I have to say/do somthing, so I paced for about 30 seconds, and said out loud

"who egged my house"

no reply....

I then said it in a loud voice "WHO EGGED MY HOUSE??"

and the youngest fella who was being held for murder1 with no bail, said "It was me Red, I didnt mean it, I will come clean it up in a min"

I was like "ok"

Went back up to my cell, and damn near lost my breath thinking "THANK YOU GOD" over and over.

What a freaking nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[redneckgearhead]

Having a brother almost exactly as you describe, all I can say is you will never "help" him. My brother likes to write bad checks, and my mom bails him out time and again. He's 36 has kids spread from Kansas to Texas and Missouri. I haven't spoke to him in months. He thinks being family obligates me to help him. I have informed him on more than one occasion, being blood does not automatically make you family. I have cut him from my life because I got tired of the "poor me" story.

Oh and I learned that I didn't have to put myself between the rock and the hard place. He was counting on me putting myself there. Set yourself free from it.