Need advice between a rock and a hard spot

[BIG_MIKE2005]

^^this^^ Mind yer own business, dont stare, keep yer mouth shut, Dont be a wuss, Dont accept ANYTHING from anyone, and dont GIVE anything to anyone.

He will get "tested" to see if he is a little biatch though. Usually something simple, like your dessert, or a pair of socks. if he allows it, it will progressivly get alot worse.

One of the times it happened to me I was laying on my bunk with the door open, and the Hoova Crips were playing cards, and smikong cigs in the "day room"
All of a sudden SMACK... my door was hit with a paper cup full of pork and beans.

I walked down the steps, to see 4 / 4 man steel picnic tables full of Crips playing cards and laughing it up.

I was SCARED S**TLESS

But I know I have to say/do somthing, so I paced for about 30 seconds, and said out loud

"who egged my house"

no reply....

I then said it in a loud voice "WHO EGGED MY HOUSE??"

and the youngest fella who was being held for murder1 with no bail, said "It was me Red, I didnt mean it, I will come clean it up in a min"

I was like "ok"

Went back up to my cell, and damn near lost my breath thinking "THANK YOU GOD" over and over.

What a freaking nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yea, thats the biggest issues. People will offer you things appearing to be friendly only to suck you into debt. Same thing for giving out things, people will think your a supply store once you start that. Everyone thats in there for a extended stay is tryin to run a game in there to get by. Especially if no one is putting money on their books.

What you did was smart cause at that point they dont know if your batshit crazy or serious. Most will err on the side of caution if they think your a crazy SOB. Especially if your mostly by yourself. not showing fear helps alot too. As long as you dont come across as cocky. Standing up for yourself inside works about the same as against a bully in school basically. dont allow yourself to be punked & people wont mess with you for the most part. they are looking for easy victims as to not draw guard attention, if your willing to fight back 9/10 times they will pass you by & go on to the next poor bastard to harass.

 

[HMFIC]

I wish I had some good advice...

You and him will be in my prayers though.

Maybe take him to AA to get a sponsor and look at a halfway house? Surely they have some resources?

 

[Dr. HK]

I wish I had some good advice...

You and him will be in my prayers though.

Maybe take him to AA to get a sponsor and look at a halfway house? Surely they have some resources?

AA I can find, if he wants to go (which I doubt), not sure where or even how to find a half way house.

 

[Dr. HK]

Having a brother almost exactly as you describe, all I can say is you will never "help" him. My brother likes to write bad checks, and my mom bails him out time and again. He's 36 has kids spread from Kansas to Texas and Missouri. I haven't spoke to him in months. He thinks being family obligates me to help him. I have informed him on more than one occasion, being blood does not automatically make you family. I have cut him from my life because I got tired of the "poor me" story.

Oh and I learned that I didn't have to put myself between the rock and the hard place. He was counting on me putting myself there. Set yourself free from it.

I already turned him away a long time ago. I have my own family to support. We get along and he doesnt suck me dry but, he is doing that to my mom and step dad. Wish he would grow up.

 

[saddlebum]

having gone through this with a stepson for seven years and thousands of dollars here is your answer...... he is a full grown man let him figure it out and handle his own problems. you can't save him and it will only cost you grief and money if you try.

 

[swampratt]

If he has a job no transportation..maybe a bicycle and a hotel by the week or month near his workplace.
I have lived in a refrigerator box and ate from trash cans and the creek..
Not having anything will sometimes open your eyes...
My eyes did not need opening . My father was abusive and i left. That was the only place i found that would work in a pinch.

My youngest son hung with the wrong crowd.. and lost it all..got a record and still paying the piper... I think he learned though.
Good luck!

 

[Dr. HK]

having gone through this with a stepson for seven years and thousands of dollars here is your answer...... he is a full grown man let him figure it out and handle his own problems. you can't save him and it will only cost you grief and money if you try.

I didnt tell the drama but to make it short and clean for this forum. When my mom and step dad went to get him out. Keep in mind they just paid $1100. My brother said about time you get me out I been here 6 hours. Then my step dad and mom were telling him he needed to grow up and be a man, etc. my brother started yelling and told them to let him out of the car. Finally they got to my brother's place and my brother told my step dad STFU Mofu go suck a D!*C my step dad started to get out of the car when my mom stopped him. SO the very people helping him, he is so rude to. I dont get it.

 

[saddlebum]

everybody needs to cut him off

 

[redneckgearhead]

I didnt tell the drama but to make it short and clean for this forum. When my mom and step dad went to get him out. Keep in mind they just paid $1100. My brother said about time you get me out I been here 6 hours. Then my step dad and mom were telling him he needed to grow up and be a man, etc. my brother started yelling and told them to let him out of the car. Finally they got to my brother's place and my brother told my step dad STFU Mofu go suck a D!*C my step dad started to get out of the car when my mom stopped him. SO the very people helping him, he is so rude to. I dont get it.

He feels entitled. He knows mama will always be there to make sure he doesn't suffer.

 

[fubarjohnnyr]

Many people don't understand the enabling they do because it is perceived as the 'right thing to do'. Your mother and and step-dad have created the monster and now comes the s&!t in dealing with someone who expects bailout after bailout. I see it every day in my daily job with parents and their children. He will never get any better until there is enough pain and suffering to cause a re-evaluation of his life. It's just like reddog1 said, "something will click" and MOST people will turn in their thinking. He'll just have to hit rock bottom for that to happen.