Oklahoma Divorce Rate

[Hobbes]

Wow, that really is a kick in the head FW.


I really don't know what the answer is either.
Someone did post something about familial patterns of divorce and how if your parents divorced it makes it so much easier for divorce to appear to be an acceptable outcome in the children's lives..
In my case I grew up in a dysfunctional family where my parents eventually divorced, probably 10 years after they should have, and I can almost guarantee that if I had married before the age of 35 I would have divorced too.
I just never did learn what a healthy parental relationship looked like from my parents. Had to figure it out the hard way, on my own, and that took a long time and a lot of mistakes.

 

[flatwins]

Yeah it's an odd thing, this marriage stuff. I suppose that's why I'm staying away from it for awhile. My parents just had their 50th anniversary, my ex's parents have been married nearly 50 years, my ex's sister has been married 22 years, and my bro has been married for coming up on 23. So of all the parents and kids, ours was the marriage that folded up like a deck chair.

My ex got remarried to the guy she wanted so I suppose she slept her way to church.

 

[Hobbes]

Chewing the wrapper:

Jeff Duntemann KG7JF

It was 1971, and I was a college sophomore at a beer bust put on by a fraternity hungry enough for pledges to admit anyone. I was dressed in a bright yellow sweater and bright purple bell-bottoms, trying very hard to grow my hair without realizing the ultimate futility of the effort. (Can you picture me with shoulder-length hair? Sigh. I can't either.)

As often happens at parties, an impassioned discussion between two people begins to attract a crowd, and before long a considerable fraction of the party was watching me debate some half-sloshed prelaw type on the merits of bringing the United Nations into the Vietnam conflict. Or maybe it was the moral imperative of passing the E.R.A. I forget--because all the while I was half-watching a gorgeous young woman who was hanging on my every word, following my discourse with this look of unbelieving awe on her face.

Shall we say this was not an everyday occurrence, and her interest inspired me to even greater heights of eloquence. Was it my sweater? My sideburns? Or could it be that at least one girl in this five-and-dime college appreciated the power of brains over biceps?

The prelaw slurred some minor insult at me and slunk away, defeated. The crowd wandered off--but she hung on, eyes like sapphires riveted upon me, and in our single moment of intimacy she breathlessly revealed the secret of her admiration: "You know, you always talk in complete sentences!"

My God! She had thrown away the gum and was chewing the wrapper! What about my passion? What about my social awareness? What about my obvious allegiance to the greater good of mankind? No matter--she went home with some football player, and I went home with my complete sentences.

I guess in the long run we both got what we deserved.

 

[SiGArmed]

Maybe if people spent more time then 3 months together before getting married.

I'll stay single and keep all my stuff.

 

[GroupGuy]

I just celebrated 18 years of faithful marriage to the same woman. Marriages fail for the same basic reasons that most things do, because the involved aren't willing to work hard enough at making it work. Opportunity is most often missed because it most often presents itself in overalls and disguised as work. Same thing with a successful marriage. You have to make an effort every day and most people aren't willing to make that effort. It's much easier to give up. They can always try again. My pastor is preaching a series on this right now and anyone can watch it online at http//live.life church.TV
Again, most won't make the effort because it takes effort.

 

[flatwins]

Maybe if people spent more time then 3 months together before getting married.

I'll stay single and keep all my stuff.

I did pretty well in mine but we were very civil toward each other. Still are in fact. She got the house with all the furniture and appliances and I got a garage full of tools and motorcycles. Plus I got a rent house that we previously owned jointly. We share equal time with the kids: week on/week off. It all works out fairly well but we realize we're an exception to the general outcome.

 

[HMFIC]

Sol and I were discussing this topic just the other night... it's an interesting topic for sure and also tends to bring out people's warped perceptions on whatever their favorite axe to grind is for the blame.

I don't claim to know the answer to it and I'm sure there are many factors involved in why certain states or areas have a higher rate than others. Everything from marriage and divorce laws to cultural norms play into it I'm sure.

For mine, I should have seen the writing on the wall considering that in my ex's family, you have to go back two generations to find anyone in that linage that hasn't divorced at LEAST once (and it's not a small family).