How to deal with a Divorce and kids

[POSITIVE DISCONTENT]

Well shes not a hateful person and she said she will agree to anything to make this as smooth as possible. So im not worried about that, I have pictures and emails between them two as proof saved on various items just in case but I will not use that in court unless I absolutely need to. I don't want the kids to see that or be put thru that mess. I just want to see them as much as possible. I told her that she can drop them off anytime if she has things to do or whatever. I talked to the attorney and Im also filling for joint custody.

Don't buy that line, You need to go file NOW before she does. The person that files sets the temp custody who stays where and who pays for what. My Ex said the same thing to me and filed behind my back. She got most of my check and temp custody of the kids. It has been a huge back peddle to get the kids myself. I make about
$50K a year and my divorce is costing double that when you count my retirement money, the house and property.
If you file and decide you want to work on things you can stop papers but don't let her file first!

 

[Billybob]

Lots of good stuff said here to consider.
The breathing stuff sounds close to an anxiety or panic attack, center yourself and stay calm.

$1700 is real cheap, almost scary, check the lawyers case record on OSCN,(look for dropped cases) and get everything in righting to know for sure how much that $1700 amount covers.

What PD said about DHS and guns is true, they are a red mark against you on a DHS assessment if one is done.

As far as joint custody OK. is behind the curve, google and study "presumption of equal parenting", and "child's best interest",and beware the "Tender years doctrine".

Like many others here said stay on the high road, stay strong, those children need you to be strong right now they
need to be able to rely on you for that,(can't be said enough).

I understand the pain,(my divorce was a year and a half nightmare) but for a time that pain must be set aside so that you can take care of business because emotional issues can distract you or cloud your judgment in situations like this.

 

[PUMPKIN]

Buy a mini recorder and use it.

 

[RaysZ71]

Buy a mini recorder and use it.

I have plenty of emails between them back and forth talking about how she wants to leave me, calls him baby. Nude pictures of herself to him. I think that should do something in my favor. The attorney I spoke with is Daniel Bays.

 

[JJEH]

I have plenty of emails between them back and forth talking about how she wants to leave me, calls him baby. Nude pictures of herself to him. I think that should do something in my favor. The attorney I spoke with is Daniel Bays.

With all due respect - this does nothing in your favor. She wants a divorce and thats it. There is no law what prohibits sending nude pictures to another person than husband/wife.

See the facts. Get the paperwork straight what relates to house and home, property, money and most important the kids.

Don't hope for a "joker" in your hand. All my emails for instance were useless and the judge didn't even let me finish what I had to say. But that was in Germany... that might be different here.

Don't hope, don't guess, don't assume! Do what you can do to make sure she's not taking everything incl. the kids!

 

[RaysZ71]

With all due respect - this does nothing in your favor. She wants a divorce and thats it. There is no law what prohibits sending nude pictures to another person than husband/wife.

See the facts. Get the paperwork straight what relates to house and home, property, money and most important the kids.

Don't hope for a "joker" in your hand. All my emails for instance were useless and the judge didn't even let me finish what I had to say. But that was in Germany... that might be different here.

Don't hope, don't guess, don't assume! Do what you can do to make sure she's not taking everything incl. the kids!

It is not nothing, its emotional and physical Infidelity. The impact of infidelity is said to relate not only to sex outside a relationship, but also to trust, betrayal, lying and disloyalty. Sexual infidelity by a marriage partner is commonly called philandery, adultery, or an affair.

 

[JJEH]

It is not nothing, its emotional and physical Infidelity. The impact of infidelity is said to relate not only to sex outside a relationship, but also to trust, betrayal, lying and disloyalty. Sexual infidelity by a marriage partner is commonly called philandery, adultery, or an affair.

Sounds right and I honestly hope it works out for you.

 

[POSITIVE DISCONTENT]

It is not nothing, its emotional and physical Infidelity. The impact of infidelity is said to relate not only to sex outside a relationship, but also to trust, betrayal, lying and disloyalty. Sexual infidelity by a marriage partner is commonly called philandery, adultery, or an affair.

The courts don't care. Adultry is a sin, is a reason for divorce but other than that they don't care.

 

[inactive]

The short answer to whether the infidelity matters is "depends on the judge." Some judges appeared to act punitively towards the adulterer after hearing the tale, others dismissed those discussions entirely and focused solely the division of assets and children without allowing a peep to be spoken of the circumstances of separation.

Again, haven't been through it personally but have supported a brother and sister in law in their divorces in recent months. I'm not trying to make light of the subject and the pain it causes, but just offering some insight I have seen in the last year that went through court.

 

[RaysZ71]

Well she also has a bad back and she takes over 10 heavy prescription pills and shes always passing out. That is a concern of mine. With me, I was the one to take care of them with everything. She just went to work and helped them with homework. She has no idea how to discipline them, she's never even cut their nails, washed their clothes or anything. I was mom and dad. I guess well just see.