I Have an Interesting Question...

[RidgeHunter]

I'd argue that anyone that says that physical attraction didn't play the primary part in their relationship is full of ****.

There have been some studies that have been conducted that seem to show men see the most traditionally feminine women as one-night stand material and women with a more masculine face as marriage material. Interesting stuff, because I've seen results of a similar study that women view men with a less-square jawline as marriage material, and a more angular, traditionally attractive male faces as wham-bam-thank-ya-maam types.

They wonder if this goes back to people being conditioned to think more attractive partners are more promiscuous and more prone to infidelity.

When I was single I certainly used physical attractiveness as the first filter. It was a real simple 'would/would not' categorization*, tho. It was never OH MY I MUST PAINT YOUR BEAUTY AND FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH. A would was a would and all woulds go in the pursue category. No such thing as "barely a would" or a "solid would". All woulds are treated the same.

*miscategorization of woulds and would nots often occurs when when inebriated and requires tactful revision the next working day.

 

[cody6766]

Just a little clarity on the part of my post you quoted...It should say 'initial' instead of 'primary.' I know it's not really relevant to your comment on it, but it makes my point more clear. Basically, the point I was trying to get at, through the booze, is that I'd bet there are very few of us that weren't at all attracted to our counterpart, but became so after getting to know them. Even if someone didn't marry a 10, they had to get some sort of wiggle down south that made them want to push farther. Boners alone won't keep a family together, so that's where character comes into play

 

[nofearfactor]

Money. Security. Period. I've never been the hunky clean cut type of guy, always been the dipshitt goofy long haired rocker guy. I make em laugh is my star attractive quality, then they feel sorry for me and take me home. Im also just a really nice guy. I treated her kids well and she got along great with mine. We found that we were like Yin and Yang tho. She's culture and class with the big corporate job, Im the big kid with long hair and tattoos all over who still watches cartoons while eating cereal at midnight in my 40s and plays music for a living. If you knew us you would know that we are so far apart in almost everything we are and do that it would not even make sense for her to have liked my looks in the beginning unless it was that good girl attracted to bad boy thing. No none would ever in a million years put us together by first sight if they didnt already know us. But together we work great. It took us about a year to seal the deal in a long distance love affair and then I moved over 4 states to be with her.

(I was still married to someone else in California the night we first met (but I was about to be seperated) and her husband had just died the year before. She wasnt the type to look for a one night stand, she was looking for someone with stability. I was looking for a one night stand. I didnt get it even tho we did spend the night together the first night we met. And to be honest, the first time we met I had on a longsleeve T shirt covering my fully sleeved tattooed arms and had my hair in a ponytail tucked up under a backwards ballcap like I do alot of the time. It wasnt until we were at a house party later that night that she and her friends saw the tattoos and the long hair. Surprise. And I still got the girl...).

 

[Sanford]

Neither of the above. The first time I met her I made her so angry she refused to speak. I apologized and offered to take her to dinner by way of making amends and she accepted. We discovered we had almost nothing in common, then learned over time that we made a good team as our individual strengths complemented the other's weaknesses. Somewhere along the way we decided to love each other and that became the foundation of our lives together for the past 21 years or so.