Kids and rock concerts...

[rhodesbe]

I thought my dad was a total jackass for being the 'bad cop' when I was a teenager. Like others, my dad tolerated nothing, demanded everything, and showed little mercy to me when I screwed up.

Today, I'm so thankful for him. He kept me from making some big mistakes. He was (an is) a great father to me.

 

[nofearfactor]

Ok. So. I waited a few days to tell the wife. When I did she actually was a little cooler than usual and we agreed that it was a little much for a 14 yr old. My punishment was ok with her. He knows now though that next time things will be alot different. His buddy stayed at our house and we didnt rat him out. His mom is a religious nut and they would have probably not been able to be friends any more. I know thats not right but I messed up not her kid and she would just take it out on him.

Im sorry but I totally disagree about not being able to be a friend and a father. My dad was a friend and a father. I may have been a street kid but I knew right from wrong and I had some structure in my life when I visited my mom,I just had alot of more freedom than most kids should have had. Still I knew when the fun was over and when it stopped thats when it was time to leave home and enter the world. And I turned out to be a productive law abiding person as an adult. My wifes strict upbringing made her a late bloomer with alot of things. Clear to today she is still grappling with her father on issues and the fights they have are terrible. She will not take any **** from him today though. And its thru me,I suppose, because she knows I have her back. She has gotten some backbone.

With the kids though she is just not very flexible. She is too strict. They dont trust her with things going on in their lives. They come to me. I want my kids to trust me and not go behind my back and I also want them to be able to have someone in authority they can trust to talk about anything that is going on in their lives. But I would like her to be involved. There are just certain subjects that they think that they absolutely cannot talk to their mother about. But they do with me. And Im just a step father. I may have adopted them but I will never be their replacement for their birth father. I knew him and like me he was laid back,a native Californian, and a musician. I just wish she would chill out a little and get to know them a little better. She does great with my daughters when they visit,almost to the point her kids get jealous. And her kids are good kids who work hard with their school work and home chores and they try hard to please us. They just need a little more freedom I think to have fun. I have no doubt they will be great adults.

Kids have alot on their plates these days. But so did we. We want to raise responsible,trustworthy people who will turn out to be law abiding and productive citizens- I know that. And I know my job is to make sure that they reach that goal. I just want to be able to trust them and for them to trust me. I dont want or need to party with them. When they turn 21 Im sure we will do that some day. I just dont want to not know how to talk to my kids on their level I guess. And I wish my wife was able to do that as well. On the job training I guess. Maybe we need to have a talk.