Dark Humor Thread

[Snattlerake]

The “Ouch” tattoo.

One of the prisoners we had in the jail was a white male about 35 years old with very rough facial features as if he had lived a hard life. He had long hair past his shoulders and tattoos all over. After he had finished his one armed pushups in his cell, I noticed one tattoo in particular over what looked like a big scar on the guy’s rock hard abdomen. It was the word “OUCH!” with an arrow pointing to the scar. I asked him what it was and he said laughing, “I was a punk kid in Wichita and got pulled over by the cops. I pointed a gun at em and they shot me with a shotgun. I was in the hospital for 7 months then spent 8 years in prison. I got the tat in prison.”

 

[Fyrtwuck]

I was at the station one day and my mother called and asked if I had responded to a heart attack call at her favorite bingo hall. My shift had not, but after checking the station log book, one of the other shifts did.

It seems that they had responded to a full arrest and an elderly lady was transported by ambulance to the hospital. They worked the code and pronounced her in the ER. She was then transported to the M.E.’s office for autopsy.

She was waiting her turn for autopsy and woke up in the morgue.

The next day there was a sign posted near the window at the snack bar.

“MICROWAVE OVEN IN USE”

Apparently she was close enough to the snack bar that the microwave had interrupted the signal to her pacemaker.