Your whole response above is so valid and seeing your age in your avitar, here's why, IMO. I grew up in a Southern Baptist Church...............what were the majority of SB churches (as well as other denominations) like in the 60's, 70's, and 80's? Fire and brimstone, smoke you go to hell, dance, drink or gamble you've just fallen out of God's favor.........fix your ways or you can't belong to the church. Want to be a deacon in a SB church during that time period? You'd better be there Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday visitation, Wednesday night service...........no drinking, smoking, smoking AND you couldn't have been previously divorced, for any reason. I can remember during the 80's listening to sermon after sermon, about why passing liquor by the drink, and horse racing coming to Oklahoma, was going to "light the fires of hell under Oklahoma". WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO BE A PART OF THAT ORGANIZATION!
Everything I described above, is "religion". Scare tactics to "convert" you to Christ.....and to give more $$ when the offering plate was passed. "Religion" sucks......it's a farce, it's not livable or practical........it's a set of rules developed by man, that if you follow....will lead you to God's/Christ's favor.
What about living under God's grace? Now that is practical and simple. We're human....we WILL mess up, again, and again, and again until we die. Jesus didn't go around seeking other Christians, he wen't to those who weren't. As are we to do also.
Brings us to some of today's churches............. some claim that they go to the other of extreme with grace........just go do whatever sinning you want, and you're still covered under grace. If you truly understand the gift of grace, you're taking advantage of it......you're enjoying the freedom of it, because you're not tied down with "rules of religion". There's no urge to go screw up on purpose just because.
As far as the Bible full of hate? Depends on your definition of hate. Evil things, murder, stealing, suicide, betrayal, incest, you name it, it's in there..........but so are the incredible things that give Christians hope.
The wife question? I wouldn't have married a woman who wasn't a Christian.
I agree with everything you've said pretty much. All of this is why it makes absolutely no sense to me. I don't understand how people can say this is love. Isn't God all loving? I keep saying it......am I more loving than God? How could that possibly be? As you have seen by this thread...even the religious people that supposedly believe have shown and keep showing hatred. How can religion be taken seriously with such hatred. With the poor representation of religion (not talking about you of course) why would anyone want to be religious. It's seriously sad.
P.S. If your wife changed religions or no longer believed as you do, would you divorce her. Would she go to hell? Could you believe in a God that would send her to hell?