This SUCKS

[Snattlerake]

Very sorry to hear about you Dad's health and more so about the way the Hospice didn't communicate with you. I hope you can get them to communicate better with you.

Most nursing homes, hospice care and even retirement centers are crappy in about everything they do. The people that own these places and most of them that work there don't GAF about our Mom's and Dad's.

Tru dat. Been through this sooooo many times with uncles, aunts, grandmas and parents. I'm trying to remember the guy here in Oklahoma that I met years ago. He was an elder abuse/neglect advocate. I'll think of it later. He was a very passionate man and was just starting his crusade. I saw him several years later on the news a few times still advocating and still passionate.

I also know an owner of some of these homes not the ones we used. He would be a good one to contact if you want to get help for your father. He is very passionate too.

 

[El Pablo]

I’d be shocked if you dad would want it for you. Would he want you to risk your life trying to do this? Part of dying with dignity is honoring their end of life wishes, not ours. I struggled with that one.

 

[dennishoddy]

Very sorry to hear about you Dad's health and more so about the way the Hospice didn't communicate with you. I hope you can get them to communicate better with you.

Most nursing homes, hospice care and even retirement centers are crappy in about everything they do. The people that own these places and most of them that work there don't GAF about our Mom's and Dad's.

First of all, sorry to hear about your Dad Clay.
They should be in contact with you on any change in his health.
That is directly pointed at the facility and it’s management.

The blanket statement about senior care is unfounded.
Wife’s mom is in a facility in Broken Arrow.
They don’t make a move without calling my wife to let her know their thoughts and how they want to proceed.
We are impressed with them but never fail on our part to check and verify.

My dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in the hospital and wanted to die from home so we took him home. I shut his eyelids after he looked around those in the room and went blank.
He passed peacefully with no pain as hospice helped provide pain medicine.
Hospice did a great job and I have nothing bad to say about their services.

 

[Shadowrider]

Wow I'm sorry to hear of your situations.
Dad isn't eating or drinking, can't get out of bed either so I really don't see how it will be solid 24/7 work on anyone. How long can a man live without fluids? A weeks tops? I dont know but I know its days and not weeks. So it would be a short term stay before he journeys off. I can handle a week in hell, I've already been there for much longer.
I want to do this for my dad and myself also.

You'd be surprised and quite possibly not in a good way. When my dad and step grandmother made the decision (along with the doctor) to take my grandfather off fluids and nutrition it took over two weeks (IIRC) for him to pass. That was the longest two'ish weeks of my life and I'm pretty sure that played a big part in my dad dying of a heart attack about two months later. Dad had a long history of heart problems but had quit smoking 10 years prior and was doing well, but I'm certain seeing gramps go in that way and slowly played a big part even though dad never said anything.

The correct decision is different for everybody. I wish you the best in your decision whatever it may be.

 

[druryj]

First thread I looked at this morning. It's good to see the OSA community rally behind one of its members.

 

[Timmy59]

Sorry to hear brother..

 

[Aries]

Wow I'm sorry to hear of your situations.
Dad isn't eating or drinking, can't get out of bed either so I really don't see how it will be solid 24/7 work on anyone. How long can a man live without fluids? A weeks tops? I dont know but I know its days and not weeks. So it would be a short term stay before he journeys off. I can handle a week in hell, I've already been there for much longer.
I want to do this for my dad and myself also.

I'm not a doctor, but I've always heard with no fluids at all it's more like 3 days or so.

 

[CHenry]

I'm not a doctor, but I've always heard with no fluids at all it's more like 3 days or so.

Its longer than that I believe if your in a climate controlled environment. outside in the summer, probably 3 days.

 

[CHenry]

First thread I looked at this morning. It's good to see the OSA community rally behind one of its members.

Thats how most of us roll.

 

[cktad]

We have had to make the decision to put dad on hospice care. Hes in a nursing home and has had covid. We were under the impression that he wasn't that sick but apparently its hard to get accurate information from this place. They told us he has stopped eating and drinking some days ago. That would have bee information to lead with when we last got a call from them. He isn't able to get up and isn't doing anything but sleeping. They said this isnt the same James Henry who was always hanging out in the hallway in his wheelchair, drinking coffee. NO SHEET! Why didnt they tell us of his decline when it started?
Thats all, just venting.

Same thing happened to my dad. He just gave up and didn't eat or drink anything and said he was ready to go. Hard to take but sometimes they just don't want to live that life anymore. Just try and be there for them but with this damn covid restrictions it's hard to do that.