My son dropped a bomb on me yesterday

[Capm_Spaulding]

I say to practice what you preach to him. If you believe that being homosexual is a sin, then it is equal to all other sin. So if you do truly believe that all sin is equal in God’s eyes, then this confession is no different that admitting to lying or stealing. We have all lied, we have all stolen; And despite asking for forgiveness, many of us will lie again. This is no different for him, as we are human and we sin, this is his sin. Your son is looking for your love and your acceptance, that is what he wants and needs right now. You can be hurt and upset, but you need to keep it to yourself because it is selfish at its core. He is 15, he needs someone to tell him that he’s okay and he’s loved no matter what his thoughts and feelings are. You are free to express your disagreement with his decisions, but you should also express acceptance and not try to punish him, because it is not your role, even as a parent. We are not God, we are man, and we should not try to play God and punish someone for a sin that isn’t on the list of commandments, above those that are. His relationship with God is his, and he will need to work on it on his own with no time limit. As much as you want to push him toward counseling, I think you may also need it, and that isn’t an insult. I do think it would be beneficial to have a counselor as an intermediary while you both talk about things.
I don’t think he is coming to you for all of the answers, nor do I think you should have all of the answers. I think really he just wants to know you still love him and accept him. It is your decision, but just try and remember the perspective of a 15 year old and how much your decisions now will shape him for the rest of his life. He is YOUR child, but he is also his own person and these talks you have, he will remember forever. Please make them ones that he can look back on and be thankful for.

 

[Uncle Meat]

It's wonderful that he will confide in you about this.
Not all kids will. That in itself is a great sign.

I've often wondered how I'd handle a situation like this.
And I think you're going about it correctly.

Keep loving and praying for him.

At his age, this is probably just a phase.
It's hard enough trying to figure out life and feelings.

Proverbs 22:6 - it will take time.

 

[Dale00]

My sympathy as you wrestle with this tough problem.

A parent's love is essential for teenagers. I suggest making sure that your words and actions express a foundational love for your son, in excess. ...... It's a confusing time of life and society and psychologists are advocating for homosexuality thereby compounding the problem.

Feelings are very powerful and often completely wrong. These verses are more for you to hear and consider than for sharing with your son.
Jeremiah 17:9 ESV
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Proverbs 28:26 ESV
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

Proverbs 12:15 ESV / 172 helpful votes
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

I'm glad to shared about this. Praying for you and your son.

 

[GC7]

I wonder how much this coronavirus lockdown has impacted the health of kids. They are starved for interactions and this could potentially be a manifestation of the emotional toll they are experiencing.

At the age of 15 he likely is having hormonal imbalance. Coupled with the media(news, movies, tv shows etc..) that being a male attracted to females is passé, and being bi or gay is a normal acceptable choice, is hitting home for the kid. I wish you the best, its a difficult situation to be in....

There is currently an epidemic of female teens who believe they are trans and they're going on testosterone and getting mastectomies. The entire world of being a teenager is royally ****ed up right now because the media and corporations have made being trans into some sort of virtuous goal that has ZERO downsides and should be fully celebrated.

And well the reason why we know this is an epidemic is because there's also a rising number of trans-men teens who are saying they regret what they did.

Pop culture, internet, and processed foods are ruining these adolescents.

 

[Slim Deal]

I feel for you pardner and will pray for your son and your family. Recognize that this is a spiritual battle for your son. Satan is very real and wants to devour your son in anyway he can. You and your wife need to be people he can trust.

86 such people as psychiatrists and psychologists. They can only plant ideas and lies in your son's mind and cannot truly help him. Pray and believe the Jesus is there to help you.

 

[Louro]

Wow,
All the above post are right on target. Only God knows what is going on inside your Kid Head. The only thing you can do is pray and love him.

 

[THAT Gurl]

You know how I feel about God. I have my reasons that explaining to you won't help you understand.

You don't know me but there are plenty here who do who will tell you I'm the kindest old woman you will ever meet -- until you DELIBERATELY cross me. Then I have no problem burying you and all you love alive.

I said all that to say I came from a religious family. Grandfather was a preacher; grandmother a preacher's wife; mom a preacher's daughter. Dad's side was active in their church. Worst argument I ever had with my family was after my brother threatened to burn my youngest son's baby doll. Yep. You heard me right. He had a baby doll. Why, you ask?? Because all my kids were curious about babies and I thought it was important for them to learn that there was more to being a good dad than going to work and playing ball with a kid already in grade school. MEN need to be involved with their children through it ALL -- not just the fun stuff.

Anyway my brother thought he was saving my boys from turning out gay. I had a FIT. Told my brother and my parents that I simply did not care who my children fell in love with as long as that person provided them a stable, loving SAFE home.

Your son is becoming an adult. And with that comes some very bad demons he will have to battle. It is not your place to do anything other than SUPPORT him in those choices. He already KNOWS how you feel. Clearly he is afraid of what he has experienced. BUT ... We ALL know teenagers' hormones are legendary. I can remember a couple of 14 year old boys who would get hard if there was the slightest breeze ...

Do what you guys do as a strong, loving family. Pray for strength to overcome what YOU see as obstacles in your lives. Pray for the health and safety of those you love. Pray for your nation. But for Pete's sake please do not pray (at least within earshot of your son) for deliverance from what is something he cannot control. tR idiot said it best -- everyone has something they need help with. Certain behaviors are more destructive than others -- but those behaviors are NEVER something someone chooses to be.

So ... My advice is to love him, pray for him (and with him if he so wishes), but NEVER forget he needs your love and support more than ever now. Your condemnation or disapproval will most likely drive him away (I had absolutely no relationship with my parents for more than a decade before they both passed because they could never stop condemning me for mistakes I made in my teens) and make it even more difficult for him to make his way in this world. He needs your love and support. He already knows this disappoints you. Don't make him fear you as well.

 

[HeyEng]

The worse thing you can do is make him feel guilty or unloved because of his feelings. Be supportive of him. You can do it without condoning him feeling bi. Tell him you believe it is wrong but you love him anyway.

I can't really add more than what Rick has said but I can say that I have known a few folks that were gay and were basically disowned by their families. One of them killed themselves less than a year ago. He's growing into being his own man...so, don't alienate him or push *YOUR* beliefs on him...that will not work in the long run.

 

[crrcboatz]

He mentioned he already sees a psychiatrist. Although I'll warn you, any psychiatrist, counselor, etc., these days is more than likely just going to tell him everything is fine, he doesn't need to worry about being bisexual. They're going to reinforce the world's idea that is ok. not just ok but "perfectly normal."

Yeppers to the above UNLESS you find one that happens to be a Christian. They do exist because my wife an I found one years back. Now NOT a preacher or pastor as they have their own agendas and are notorious for being judgmental. This lady was happy to answer our question on that. Don’t be afraid to ask.
Earned my masters in guidance counseling before going back for admin certifications. That said with experience in all 3 positions I will tell you what you are experiencing with your son comes and goes quite often. Cannot tell you how many students I worked with that were sure thy were bisexual. In the end MOST were experimenting as their peers were also. It was very common in 13-16 yr olds. If I can say this sir I’ll bet he’ll grow out of it. Most do. Our society has made loving the same sex public and indeed ok. It’s everywhere and ingrained today. That’s why they experiment.
You sound like a great dad! Many would not have the courage to talk with their children about this. Also the fact that your son WANTED to discuss it with you speaks volumes for your relationship with him. He appears to have great respect for you. The ADHD thing well can’t say I ever read or studied anything about it that would point in that direction. A licensed therapist however would be a good place to start. They cannot be licensed without passing a rigorous test. God Bless you. You are a good father!

 

[TerryMiller]

So much said here already is much of what I believe. Give him support and love. Keep in mind that he did say he liked both, so if it is important to him, remind him that the "act" of homosexuality is wrong according to the Bible, just as "acts" with girls outside of (the) marriage is wrong according to the Bible. (That means pre-marrital and extra-marrital acts.)

Like some of the others, he may simply be questioning. While not in my immediate family, we have two relatives that are either gay or trans. Neither are treated any differently by us. I think it should be the same for your son. Just remind him that God is loving and will judge justly. None of us that have existed upon this earth can say how God will judge the sinners. (Myself included as a sinner.)

Prayers for all of your family.