My son dropped a bomb on me yesterday

[Fredkrueger100]

For those above that asked if he goes out or stays home, he stays home most of the time. He was in public school at a small country school out here by where we live. I went there years ago. Anyways, my son is a huge gamer (like me ). But he also likes to swim and draw, and he is very creative. He has anxiety when he gets around a lot of people so he don’t like going most places. I know how that is as I suffer from the same. He likes to shoot guns although we haven’t done it in a while. He doesn’t hardly ever watch tv but he does like to watch videos on YouTube. I have settings on his Xbox and his phone to make it where he can’t access certain things. For the most part he is a good kid. He is always respectful to others and is very kind. He does have a fondness for Kaitlin Bennett, a conservative woman. She has a YouTube channel called “liberty hangout”. And I have heard him numerous times make comments about Gal Gadot and Scarlett Johansson. He likes them too. I don’t watch any filthy shows or anything like that. Usually just animal planet and discovery. But even those channels will have commercials pushing leftist crap. But I always comment on how ridiculous it is.

I’ve tried to be a good dad to him. We have always been close. Heck, he still calls me daddy. I have made many mistakes unfortunately but I always try. I talk with him a lot and always try and be there for him. We spoke of his being “bi” earlier as well and I tried to give more examples of things I struggle with that are wrong and that those things don’t define who I am. I told him we all sin and we all struggle with things. I said that we just have to choose to walk the right path and not the wrong one. I’m just gonna keep praying and talking with him and keep on loving him and doing everything I can to be there for him. Hopefully he will just be in a phase. But if not, hopefully he will choose to be with a woman one day rather than a man. Thank you to all that will be praying and for all your kind words. It means a lot.

 

[Fredkrueger100]

So much said here already is much of what I believe. Give him support and love. Keep in mind that he did say he liked both, so if it is important to him, remind him that the "act" of homosexuality is wrong according to the Bible, just as "acts" with girls outside of (the) marriage is wrong according to the Bible. (That means pre-marrital and extra-marrital acts.)

Like some of the others, he may simply be questioning. While not in my immediate family, we have two relatives that are either gay or trans. Neither are treated any differently by us. I think it should be the same for your son. Just remind him that God is loving and will judge justly. None of us that have existed upon this earth can say how God will judge the sinners. (Myself included as a sinner.)

Prayers for all of your family.

I actually told him exactly what you wrote about homosexuality and with messing around with girls before marriage and such. Thanks for your prayers and kind words.

 

[KOPBET]

Best advice...

Put a helmet on that soldier.

 

[TeamTomlyn]

Wow the fact that your son came to you for all that is so awesome!!! I hope when you hit your knees tonight that is on top of the list of things to be thankful for

One reinforce God above all things. The sin is secondary to the love.
Once he understands the love the sins will start to sort themselves out.

Next clarify, there can be a lot of confusion between the love and camaraderie that exists between men and the more lust driven love with women. Young men have a really hard time expressing their emotions and how they feel and being bi (in my opinion) is the cop-out answer. There is a healthy, non sexual and acceptable love between men, but it would be queer to say that out loud (especially in the eyes of a middle schooler), so we ignore it or label it something else.

But all that is just my $.02 and like I said in the beginning you should be proud of the relationship you have with your some. Youre obviously doing something right!

 

[jstaylor62]

It's awesome that you seem to have a strong enough relationship with your son that he trusted you enough to expose himself to you with such emotional and troubling thoughts and feelings. Like others have said, be very careful about your next move or you risk losing him for the rest of your life.

I grew up next door to a Lesbian couple. My dad formed his opinion of them not based on their sexual orientation, but how hard they worked and how they treated other people. My dad respected how well they took care of their house and yard and frequently mentioned they were great neighbors.

Every parent should feel blessed if they raise children that grow up to be respected for how hard they work and how well they treat others.

 

[Aries]

Read post #5 then. I believe you just overlooked his opinion on it.

No, I read post #5, I meant I'd be curious about his opinion on how common it is for early teens to question their sexuality.

 

[steelfingers]

So my son wanted to talk to me yesterday about something. We talked about God and how he sometimes doesn’t believe He exists. I tried to talk with him like I have in the past to prove that He does. All of the sudden he starts breaking down and bawling. My son just turned 15 last week. I asked him what was wrong and he just kept crying and hiding his face. I kept asking him and he finally said “ I like both boys and girls”. My heart sank into my stomach when I heard those words. I’m still sick to my stomach about it. I didn’t get mad or anything I just talked with him about it and told him that it was wrong and that he cannot do it. Then I tried to explain why it’s no different than other sins. I tried to offer some comfort and relate to him as best I could. He said that’s why he was doubting God because why would God allow him to be that way. I told him God has nothing to do with it. We have mental issues on both sides of the families and he takes medicine for ADHD and depression.

I don’t know if it’s just a phase that he is goin through or what. I just don’t know how to feel other than sick and hurt. I love my son more than anything and just want the best for him. I want y’all to know how hard this is for me to share. It’s tearing me up. I don’t know if I should take him to counseling or something like that or not. He sees a psychiatrist for his adhd and depression so I could mention it to them. I’m still shocked that he told me because he knows I’m a Christian and he knows how I feel about that stuff. But again, as I tried to explain, sin is sin to God. Unless it’s blasphemy. Everything can be forgiven if we repent. I told him that it’s a struggle for me to not lust and I have to fight it every day. So I told him he has to fight any feelings he may have and not give in to them. But he has never been out with a girl or a boy before. He don’t go to peoples houses and no one comes to ours. So I don’t have to worry about him doing anything right now. And he home schools now. Anyway, I had to get this off my chest. Any ideas or help would be much appreciated. I would also ask that anyone that will, to say a prayer for my son and my family. Thanks.

With all the mixed messages coming from ANTIFA, BLM, Rainbow crap along with their teachers, this is an issue that won't be limited to your child. At 15, I'm surprised I made it home every day with all the hormonal changes that happens including questioning everything. In the best of times, a 15 year old will have inner turmoil and doubts.
I have no advice. You know your son and your son knows you. If he didn't hold you (and your beliefs) in great respect, he would never have shared something so personal that his best friends will never know.
Be the man of God you are. Be the Father you are. Keep up the communication between you two and I will pray for your guidance.
There are a million books on why this happens at this age, with a million ways to fix it, all in disagreement with each other. It's like I tell young golfers. There is no perfect swing, only your swing. If there was only one book on the golf swing would be sold, yet there are millions.
There is one book on life. That's all that's needed You can find it on the pew next Sunday.

 

[tRidiot]

No, I read post #5, I meant I'd be curious about his opinion on how common it is for early teens to question their sexuality.

Sure they do, lots of them. I won't pretend they talk to me about it, mostly. Only very rare ones, usually the ones whom are showing it out for the world to see.

Teenagers don't talk about that s*** with their doctor, usually.

 

[MilitantBEEMER]

So my son wanted to talk to me yesterday about something. We talked about God and how he sometimes doesn’t believe He exists. I tried to talk with him like I have in the past to prove that He does. All of the sudden he starts breaking down and bawling. My son just turned 15 last week. I asked him what was wrong and he just kept crying and hiding his face. I kept asking him and he finally said “ I like both boys and girls”. My heart sank into my stomach when I heard those words. I’m still sick to my stomach about it. I didn’t get mad or anything I just talked with him about it and told him that it was wrong and that he cannot do it. Then I tried to explain why it’s no different than other sins. I tried to offer some comfort and relate to him as best I could. He said that’s why he was doubting God because why would God allow him to be that way. I told him God has nothing to do with it. We have mental issues on both sides of the families and he takes medicine for ADHD and depression.

I don’t know if it’s just a phase that he is goin through or what. I just don’t know how to feel other than sick and hurt. I love my son more than anything and just want the best for him. I want y’all to know how hard this is for me to share. It’s tearing me up. I don’t know if I should take him to counseling or something like that or not. He sees a psychiatrist for his adhd and depression so I could mention it to them. I’m still shocked that he told me because he knows I’m a Christian and he knows how I feel about that stuff. But again, as I tried to explain, sin is sin to God. Unless it’s blasphemy. Everything can be forgiven if we repent. I told him that it’s a struggle for me to not lust and I have to fight it every day. So I told him he has to fight any feelings he may have and not give in to them. But he has never been out with a girl or a boy before. He don’t go to peoples houses and no one comes to ours. So I don’t have to worry about him doing anything right now. And he home schools now. Anyway, I had to get this off my chest. Any ideas or help would be much appreciated. I would also ask that anyone that will, to say a prayer for my son and my family. Thanks.

I will definitely be praying for him and you. I would suggest you find him a good Christian Therapist that can help him deal with the confusion, emotions and feelings. 15 is a hard age and I am sure his emotions are all over the board. Love on him and stay close to him and most importantly PRAY for him. God Bless

 

[TwoForFlinching]

Sure they do, lots of them. I won't pretend they talk to me about it, mostly. Only very rare ones, usually the ones whom are showing it out for the world to see.

Teenagers don't talk about that s*** with their doctor, usually.

Was trying to find a new doc last year, in the checkup he asked me if I was sexually active, I looked him dead in the eyes and said "Not at this particular moment, but the day is young." I think he took it the wrong way lol. Shame too, was a good doc.