So I woke up on the floor this morning...

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When my wife passed way, I was already in church but I intensified my attendance and met new friends and I worked hard where I was employed. After work, I continued to work hard remodeling a house as well as visiting old friends. As time went on, I got better and was able to handle my loss. Perhaps you could do something similar that would be beneficial? Stay busy!
I'm looking forward to hearing from you...as a matter of fact we all are looking forward to hearing from you that you beat the Devil! You have an amazing future and can be of gret help to others!
 
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This outpouring of support is very humbling. I don't have a lot to say at this point, but know I should check in. Still sober.
Sick as you all know this will make a person since last night, couldn't sleep. Nauseous, no appetite, everything tastes like crap. Surprisingly, even my cigs taste like **** now. Frankly, I'd like to throw them away too, but I think that's too much to ask of my system all at once.

I wanted to make my excuses, (valid, but beside the point) but I made myself go ahead and go to church this morning. Managed to sweat, twitch, and shake my way through the services. It was good, although painfully loud. Truth be told, it would have been that even if I didn't have a raging headache.
I want to keep going, but I'll need to find something other than a mega-church. Too much like a concert with all the lights and crazy volume. The sermon had no appeal for me since it was about marriage, and I'm single...but it was still a comfort.

These physical withdrawal symptoms suck, but it's the emotional and mental stresses that are going to be my biggest challenge I know. Everything is just too bright and clear, while all simultaneously fuzzy. My thoughts are too loud inside my own head. I'm puttering around talking to myself, and the dog follows much more closely than usual. She knows what's up. Worried about me.

Guilt is eating at me...boredom. None of my usual casual time activities can hold my attention. Too restless, all while being exhausted. I'm looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow. At least my mind and body will be busy.
 
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One additional thing...

To all those who've private messaged me. I hope your reading this, and I want to express my gratitude. I'm not responding yet, only because I feel I should get through this physical stage before I start talking a lot about it. I will reach out to you when the time is right. Thank you.
 

THAT Gurl

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I just now saw your thread. I'm not one of the fellas. I've never been able to abuse alcohol or weed (God knows I've tried from time to time). I won't PM you -- you have enough guys doing that. Just know that if there is something you need to talk about and I seem to be a better option than one of the guys (you would be surprised at how many fellas I have messaged and talked to on the phone over the years) I'm here for you. Shoot me a PM if you ever want to talk and we can go from there -- just between you and me. Promise.

My thoughts are with you.
 
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No insurance, no money for for rehab. I must get through this on my own. Last night was bad. No sleep for 2 days and I'm starting to become delirious. I won't describe the nightmares I'm having because they are unimportant, but I'm making the choice to disarm myself for awhile. I am seeing things that are not there, and not stable enough to discern truth from fevered imagination. But I WILL make it through this....
 
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No insurance, no money for for rehab. I must get through this on my own. Last night was bad. No sleep for 2 days and I'm starting to become delirious. I won't describe the nightmares I'm having because they are unimportant, but I'm making the choice to disarm myself for awhile. I am seeing things that are not there, and not stable enough to discern truth from fevered imagination. But I WILL make it through this....
AA was the best thing I could have done. Find some cranky old *******s that have already been through it, put your ego in the trash bin and listen to what they say. Get the book. Read it. Read it again. Show up to a meeting every day.

If you're like me, pretty soon you'll wonder how you ever found time to waste drinking.
 

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