So I've seen this throughout my life. Men suffering in silence. I know of a guy that lost his wife unexpectedly and has two kids. That's pain. That's real pain. He seems to think he soldiers on and covers it all up. And he does. I don't personally know him so I can't speak to this situation. But is that how men are supposed to be? In our culture a man that needs help is a failure. However, how much loss can a man suffer before he is due some support? Any amount?
Hence the phenomena of PTSD. Buck up and soldier on.
So any amount of suffering then. I kinda agree with you. What's done is done. But is that really all there is for men?
It's not correct or right, but I believe that's how we were taught growing up. I see it all the time here on the forum. If any dude voices any kind of "non masculine feeling" then they tend to be labeled as a "p8ssy", or even worse, a liberal. A lot (but not all) of the older dudes around here seem to think that having an actual emotion automatically means you have tits and a period. We need to move past this line of thinking considering how much more likely men are to commit suicide vs women.
If a dude was feeling like hell, what's anyone going to do? Say thoughts and prayers like that's ever done anything? No one wants to help, they want to SAY they want to help. DOING is harder and involves actions that likely don't benefit you. There's some exceptions to this, but notably I'd say this forum, based on my time here, is one of the last places anyone suffering should ever come to expect empathy. They'd be labeled, ostracized and probably have a few names tossed their way for not manning up and pulling themselves up by the bootstraps back to some misguided and unrealistic standard of what "normal" and "happy" are. Were I in a bad place, I'd certainly never come here to listen to see what some of the commenters would toss my way based on the insults and personal attacks that I get when I have a view that is dissenting from the hive mind already.
I think this is less than it used to be. If you think about it in the context of the draft and conflicts, no matter how tragic your day was you still had a job to do that lives depended on. Just because you stood one day on a pile of rubble with a huge crater in front of that pile that held 243 of your fellow Marines, didn't mean the next day you could just puddle up and say hey Gunnery Sargent, I can't make it. Lives still depended on you doing your job. Now that may not have been you personally, but there is a high likelihood that the person who raised you was. (just one example in millions). Why do men do it? Because they had to and learned it by doing it. Now we have volunteer forces so this effect isn't as wide spread, so I think it is less so now.
Take heart Rez, not everyone here takes you so literally, and some can even read between your lines, but don't expect them to puddle up with ya, still got a job to do
(Disclaimer: not saying you would puddle up.)
Take heart Rez, not everyone here takes you so literally, and some can even read between your lines, but don't expect them to puddle up with ya, still got a job to do
(Disclaimer: not saying you would puddle up.)
Last edited:
It is the way I was raised and I get embarrassed any time I have to ask for help. It is just who we are, at least us older guys. Wifey and my doc get pissed at me because I keep hurting my arm but I ask for help to much as it is, not going to do it just because I need a 40 lb bag of manure moved.
Do you know for a fact that he needs help? You never know, he may be in a better place.
Coming to forum of any type , looking for emotional support makes zero sense to me. Friends and family are your support .
Some folks on a forum do not give a crap and some do.... plain and simple. And that has zero to do with which Gen you come from.
OP, some folks are just not comfortable asking for help and some are. It is basically " too each his own" . Some times just answering a phone from said friend will be enough " care and support"
Even if you only talk about hunting or fishing.
Some folks on a forum do not give a crap and some do.... plain and simple. And that has zero to do with which Gen you come from.
OP, some folks are just not comfortable asking for help and some are. It is basically " too each his own" . Some times just answering a phone from said friend will be enough " care and support"
Even if you only talk about hunting or fishing.
It's more of a discussion than about a specific person. That's why I put I don't really know this person.
I do know the suicide rates are much higher among men. So that could mean something.
