Depression

[SgtMojo67]

Thank you everyone. Lots of good advice. I have been on the mentalhealth.va.gov website a lot this morning. I feel like asking for help is for the weak. But I have this persona of having to be the rock and that interferes with me asking for and receiving help. I am slowly realizing that my thought process is flawed and irrational, but it's a tedious processes to recognize it and correct it.

I do go to work, it is stressful and I have a hard time dealing with the demands of the job. Been thinking about requesting FMLA from work to see if that might improve my depression, either to focus on treatment or trying to treat myself. I do not currently have any financial troubles. The only debt I have is my mortgage and my payments are currrent. But I am at the point where I'm thinking about just walking away from the job and hoping I can start a new life. I can leave the house, but I prefer to stay locked inside where I feel safe. I would not leave my house if I did not have to go to work. I do not socialize and when I talk with people, it is either at work, or online on a forum, like I am doing here. I have a dog. He has been my only true companion. He has saved my life numerous times and I probably wouldn't be here today if he wasn't part of my life.

I tried to get an appointment with the VA, that was three days ago. I have been told twice that the nurse will get back with me and I leave my contact information. If they don't care, then why should I even bother? Yes, I am still taking the meds I am on, I have not stopped taking any of them. I do realize that if it gets bad enough I can walk into an ER and get help. I don't think I am quite there yet. Just trying to figure out how to break out of this severe depression hole I am in. I used to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but now I feel so far down, there isn't any light coming through the darkness.

I forgot to add.....do NOT stop taking your meds without the Dr.'s approval. It could increase suicidal thoughts. I'm sure you knew that but in case someone reading doesn't, now they do. I'm amazed at the response here. You do have family....right here. Fight the good fight....keep your head up it will get better.

 

[Keelty]

Many great ways to get some help mentioned here. Please make use of every offer you can. You will find the right combo to help you.

Thanks OSA for reaching out. Great bunch of people here including the OP!

 

[elwoodtrix]

what exactly are you depressed about???


taking yourself out will depress others...

 

[Super_soph198]

HANG IN THERE!!!!!! You have a family right here. I am not a military person but have several in my family. I'm clueless in what I can do to help but I am willing to just be here for you.

 

[3inSlugger]

bump...we have not forgotten you gunnut.
Hope you are doing better.

Jonathan

 

[ldp4570]

I was serious, however I created a post.

I was too!! All you have to do is ask!!

 

[ldp4570]

The group has met up on a couple of occasions and I'd sure like to see it happen again. A few years back there was a grill and shoot. Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it.

We do need to get one going over here on the East side of the state!!

 

[Zombie]

Hey gunnut come hang out with me. I need a friend, I been here two years now for the second time and have no friends. We could all use friends. I know I can talk to members on okshooters but the transition from online to offline may be hard. So come on down lets hang out, I have kiddos so i am sure them being kids will keep you entertained. We can BBQ or go to SGT Everettes, etc. PM me if interested.

how old are your kids? opposed to travel to Bethany area? pm me

Gunnut - feel free to pm me as well....I will talk to ya, hang out if you are in the area...you are not alone no matter where ya are or what's going on.

 

[gunnut]

I am just so tired of trying to fight this fight called depression. I want to give up. The VA crisis line wanted me to go to to the VAMC last night, and I thought about going this morning. The crisis line said that he thought the VAMC could immediately provide treatment that would help the suffering not seem as bad. But I doubt that is even possible.

I appreciate all the offers of friendship and lunch, but I am not looking for a free meal or someone to listen to me ***** about how life sucks. Really, I'm not looking for sympathy. I wanted hope that things do get better, and I have received a few PM's of people who have are or going through something similiar. Knowing that it can be acomplished is reassuring, but at the same point I am so exhausted from battling this depression, I am not sure how much fight in me I have left. Might see how the weekend goes, and go to the VAMC on Monday if things aren't improving slightly.

 

[SMS]

I'd suggest a complex attack...

While you are working to square things away on the medical/prescription side...maybe make a visit to the previously mentioned Vet Center up on NW 47th. I will go with you if you don't want to walk in alone...

While it is part of the Veteran's Administration it is a seperate entity from the VA Medical Center. It's staffed by Vets, for Vets. You can sit down and talk, in confidence, to folks who mostly have walked the same walk as us.

Don't wait for this to get fixed...attack it and fix it. It can get better.