man that was a great read early in the morning LOL
I was going to suggest using home made electrolysis next time you want to remove hair. Find you a neon transformer, I promise it will get the job done.
I'm thinking that neon transformer will probably char the hair before the follicle releases, but it will also have the side effect of relieving any constipation problems you are having.
Lol! Yeah its a learning curve. Gold Bond is your friend here to.
You either shave it daily and keep up with it or like others mentioned just use clippers and not a razor.
But be warned - I hear shaving can be an addiction. Pretty soon you will be shaving your arms and legs too. You will be taking 2 hr showers just to shave your entire body. So tread carefully before its too late.
This is why the internet was invented.
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