I need your thoughts and prayers to help me cope...

[tRidiot]

<edit>
NM all the BS I wrote.

Suffice it to say I'm sorry you're going through this, man. Hang tough.

 

[J.P.]

Guys and gals, sometimes things happen that just completely and totally blindside you. A couple days ago, my wife of 15 years decided she no longer wanted the title. I was, and still am, completely shocked. All my life I have been looking for that person that I could tell anything to, be completely comfortable with, accept unconditionally, and have the same in return. Someone that was fun to be with, attractive, smart, funny, and appreciative of those feelings in return. I truly thought that she was it. I still believed that a week ago. I still believe it today. My whole being is intertwined with this woman and our beautiful, intelligent 7 yr old boy. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how I should feel. All I know is, my life seems to have ground to a halt. I can't hardly eat, I refuse to get drunk, and sleep is a distant memory. I'm not looking for answers, just some thoughts on how to deal with this and how I can tell my son. It's going to break his little heart into a million pieces. How do I tell him that his daddy isnt going to be there to put him to bed every night? How do I make him understand that it isn't my idea when I'm the one that will be loading all my stuff and leaving our home? I'm just so sad... I ask the lord for some guidance, but I haven't found it, yet. Please give me some ideas. Tell me it will get better with time. I just don't know.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with it all, bro.......major suckage.

Here's me:
-Married 7 years...divorced (2 kids)
-Married 5 years...divorced (1 kid)
then
-LTR for almost 5 years until a little over a year ago....which BTW, has left me totally ripped apart.

So I mean if I was ANY good at these things I might have a shred of useable advice for ya', but I think it's rather clear that I totally suck at marriage....and should probably refrain from any further attempts.


Sorry man.

ETA:

Oh, and don't worry about the li'l trooper.
As it turns out they are quite resilient and can settle in just fine.
Apparently they cope rather well and do this by beginning to call the new guy "Dad" while simultaneously calling you by your Christian name.
Yeah.....


The best thing you can hope/pray for is that your (ex)Wife will do everything to make it easier on your boy.
Even the best intended split relationships can turn ugly very quickly when there is a child involved....a very unfortunate and heartbreaking situation for everyone involved.

Often the tension, antithopy, etc. between divorcing parents is pronounced in such a way that one (or neither) party can clearly indicate any negative affect on the child.

Their (or your) vision can be skewed, so it's very important to take an honest open evaluation of every situation involving your child to make sure his best interest is satisfied.
Don't let emotions over her drag you into doing the wrong thing....dig?

We've , of course, all seen/heard of the ugliness of 'using' a kid to get back at the other spouse, but too many times a child can be leveraged ever so slightly so as not to be realized by one or both parents.

It ain't easy....not with kids...not at all, but remember: they will survive, and how they deal with it psychologically/emotionally is largely up to both of you.



Anyway, hit me up via PM if you wanna' bend my ear....and we are around the same age so maybe I can relate..
Besides....even if you don't wanna' talk, I might just wanna' unload on you.

JxPx

 

[tRidiot]

The best thing you can hope/pray for is that your (ex)Wife will do everything to make it easier on your boy.
Even the best intended split relationships can turn ugly very quickly when there is a child involved....a very unfortunate and heartbreaking situation for everyone involved.

Often the tension, antithopy, etc. between divorcing parents is pronounced in such a way that one (or neither) party can clearly indicate any negative affect on the child.

Their (or your) vision can be skewed, so it's very important to take an honest open evaluation of every situation involving your child to make sure his best interest is satisfied.
Don't let emotions over her drag you into doing the wrong thing....dig?

We've , of course, all seen/heard of the ugliness of 'using' a kid to get back at the other spouse, but too many times a child can be leveraged ever so slightly so as not to be realized by one or both parents.

It ain't easy....not with kids...not at all, but remember: they will survive, and how they deal with it psychologically/emotionally is largely up to both of you.



Anyway, hit me up via PM if you wanna' bend my ear....and we are around the same age so maybe I can relate..
Besides....even if you don't wanna' talk, I might just wanna' unload on you.

JxPx

Agree with all of this... thankfully my (someday)ex is a great person and really does put my little guy first.

I'm also nearly literally the same age, also 13 years married, also with a 7 y/o boy who means the world to both of us. I'm here for you, man. PLUS... I've got a spare bedroom and thousands upon thousands of rounds of ammo I never shoot!

 

[J.P.]

I've got a spare bedroom and thousands upon thousands of rounds of ammo I never shoot!

Hell wit' dat, I think *I'm* movin' in!

 

[Biggsly]

Sorry to hear. Prayers sent.

 

[tRidiot]

PLUS... I've got a spare bedroom and thousands upon thousands of rounds of ammo I never shoot!

Hell wit' dat, I think *I'm* movin' in!

Oh, did I forget to mention the Glenlivet, Glenlivet Nadurra, Bowmore, Glenfiddich, Laphroig, Aberlour and such?

And I'm going to pick up the new 65" LED tomorrow.

lol

 

[TedKennedy]

That is terrible news. Just remember job 1 is to be a great DAD.

 

[J.P.]

Oh, did I forget to mention the Glenlivet, Glenlivet Nadurra, Bowmore, Glenfiddich, Laphroig, Aberlour and such?

And I'm going to pick up the new 65" LED tomorrow.

lol

Damn! I gave up the sauce about 4 years ago....and I frikkin' love Scotch!
It's always after ya' give somethin' up that someone comes along and dangles the ol' carrot.

lol....
You shoulda' just put up a personal ad:
Sugar daddy lookin' for someone to get liquored up and shoot guns with.

 

[been]

Im really sorry to hear that...will keep you and your boy in my prayers

 

[tntrex]

Sorry to hear the news. You can still be a great dad.