Problem with Vital Arms

[Old Fart]

Time to interject a little humor into this thread.

Three guys are out hunting and sitting around the evening campfire exchanging their worst experiences.

The first guy says the worst thing that ever happened to him was, he was up on a scaffold 7 stories high washing windows when the scaffold collapsed and he fell, breaking every bone in his body and he was hospitalized for six months.

The second guy says the worst thing that ever happened to him was, he was hitch-hiking and a Greyhound bus ran over him, breaking his back and he wound up in the hospital for nearly a year.

The 3rd guy was not saying anything, so one of the others asked him about his worst experience.

He said, "Well, I'll tell you about the second worst thing that ever happened to me, I was out hunting one time and I had to take a crap, so I stepped behind a tree, dropped my trousers, and crouched down into *the* position."

"Yeah? what happened next?" asks his friend.

"I got a little too close to the ground and -- WHAM -- a bear trap snapped shut on my testicles."

One of the other guys said, "God! If that was the second worst, what in the world was the worst?"

He calmly replied, "Oh, that would be when I reached the end of the chain . . ."

 

[Old Fart]

Subject: The Father


A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and
noticed
he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his
collar
that way.

The man, who was a priest, said "I am a Father".

The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that".

The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of
many."

The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he
doesn't wear his collar that way."

The priest getting impatient said "I am the Father of hundreds," and
went
back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned over and
said:
"Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your
collar".

 

[Old Fart]

The Train Ride.

In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, Janet Reno and
Bo Derek.

After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel
and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton has a big red slap mark on his cheek.


(1) Bo Derek thought - "That sleazeball Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on Janet Reno, who in turn must have slapped his face."

(2) Janet Reno thought - "That dirty Bill Clinton laid his hands on Bo
Derek and she smacked him."

(3) Bill Clinton thought - "George put his hand on Bo Derek and by
mistake she slapped me."

(4) George Bush thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can
smack Clinton again."

 

[gillman7]

The Train Ride.

In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, Janet Reno and
Bo Derek.

After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel
and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, Clinton has a big red slap mark on his cheek.


(1) Bo Derek thought - "That sleazeball Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on Janet Reno, who in turn must have slapped his face."

(2) Janet Reno thought - "That dirty Bill Clinton laid his hands on Bo
Derek and she smacked him."

(3) Bill Clinton thought - "George put his hand on Bo Derek and by
mistake she slapped me."

(4) George Bush thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can
smack Clinton again."

 

[Kingmarine]

Great jokes.... Excellent way to lighten the mood.

 

[Old Fart]

Life is short.