School bullying and threats - what would you do?

[druryj]

Back in my day if I had behaved like that, and hit another kid, they would hauled my narrow ass in and beat it soundly with a great big wooden paddle. But not today, oh no! We can't paddle Little Billy's ass, it might traumatized him.


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[tRidiot]

Keep in mind, we're talking about 2 different situations here...

1. Student in my son's class with history of being a bully makes threats of firearms use. Kids report to teacher, student is sent home. I go to police this morning, police go to school, we get call from super stating student was expelled yesterday. But all hell blows up with the kid's mom today. She has been FB posting, emailing and blah blah blah. I don't think they really expelled him yesterday, I think they were continuing to do as they have done and were trying to wait for it to blow over - until the police showed up. Now he is gone, and heading to public school.

2. Older student karate chops my son in the throat unprovoked on Friday while standing outside awaiting pickup after school. Wife takes my son in to principal, he says he will look into it. Monday he pulls my son, older student who assaulted him, and at least one witness into his office. Older student admits the story being told is true and accurate by both my son and the witness. He apologizes. Students all return to class. Not a word is heard by us. Wife goes in to talk to principal this morning and is told they are "looking into it" and deciding proper punishment, but since my son "wasn't really hurt" because he "didn't fall down", it isn't all that serious. Principal is claims unawareness of school handbook which expressly states students who commit violence against other students will be suspended or expelled, a "no-tolerance policy." He says he is talking with the parents of the student who assaulted my son and they will together determine a punishment, but we will not be told anything further due to privacy issues. He says one thing he is considering is making this student perform manual labor at the school after hours so that other students can see him being punished.* My wife recorded this discussion, but I have yet to listen to it, as from her description, I think I would be even angrier than I am now. I am trying to give it time for things to calm down...

*Personally, I dislike this option. This isn't about humiliating the kid. I'm not looking for that. I am looking for the SCHOOL to take a STAND on the issue and be consistent and firm in their implementation of their stated policy. Trying to humiliate the kid isn't the answer. I am not even all about punishing him. Although he needs to understand the consequences of assaulting another student, making him an object of public ridicule for the rest of the student body isn't what I want. This is about the SCHOOL even more than about this kid. Like I said before... there has been bullying going on at this school that is being poo-pooed and swept under the rug for a long time, while they polish their public image and stand on an academic record as the best in the area.

I told my wife, I don't think he belongs there anymore. That isn't the end of the discussion, but it's a joint decision we have to make going forward.

 

[Pokinfun]

<edit> Don't get me wrong... not all my firearms are under lock and key - but my son is disciplined in firearms training, respects firearms absolutely and he would never play with one or touch one without me being with him. My son is not a deranged, angry, violent kid who is threatening others.

I understand what you are saying, I have no fear that my grandson would ever touch one of my guns. Hell at 9 he has three of his own. However, with him having friends, I do not know about his friends not touching them, his two best friends dad is a LEO, I nice kids but kids. I think it is a little irresponsible to not have your guns locked up. I would hate myself if a kid ever hurt themselves or another kid because I failed to be an adult. Especially when you combine with the fact that kids around your son have made threats that involve guns. Kids talk, what keeps a kids from breaking into you home and taking one and hurting another kid. I have a bed-side gun, but it is in a night stand safe.
Also, I think it is funny how many men on here say that the way to fix a bully is for you to bully the principle with the media or board.

 

[ARnut]

Only thing That ever stopped kids from picking on me was defending myself once. I got suspended but never got bullied again.

 

[Shoot Summ]

Keep in mind, we're talking about 2 different situations here...

1. Student in my son's class with history of being a bully makes threats of firearms use. Kids report to teacher, student is sent home. I go to police this morning, police go to school, we get call from super stating student was expelled yesterday. But all hell blows up with the kid's mom today. She has been FB posting, emailing and blah blah blah. I don't think they really expelled him yesterday, I think they were continuing to do as they have done and were trying to wait for it to blow over - until the police showed up. Now he is gone, and heading to public school.

2. Older student karate chops my son in the throat unprovoked on Friday while standing outside awaiting pickup after school. Wife takes my son in to principal, he says he will look into it. Monday he pulls my son, older student who assaulted him, and at least one witness into his office. Older student admits the story being told is true and accurate by both my son and the witness. He apologizes. Students all return to class. Not a word is heard by us. Wife goes in to talk to principal this morning and is told they are "looking into it" and deciding proper punishment, but since my son "wasn't really hurt" because he "didn't fall down", it isn't all that serious. Principal is claims unawareness of school handbook which expressly states students who commit violence against other students will be suspended or expelled, a "no-tolerance policy." He says he is talking with the parents of the student who assaulted my son and they will together determine a punishment, but we will not be told anything further due to privacy issues. He says one thing he is considering is making this student perform manual labor at the school after hours so that other students can see him being punished.* My wife recorded this discussion, but I have yet to listen to it, as from her description, I think I would be even angrier than I am now. I am trying to give it time for things to calm down...

*Personally, I dislike this option. This isn't about humiliating the kid. I'm not looking for that. I am looking for the SCHOOL to take a STAND on the issue and be consistent and firm in their implementation of their stated policy. Trying to humiliate the kid isn't the answer. I am not even all about punishing him. Although he needs to understand the consequences of assaulting another student, making him an object of public ridicule for the rest of the student body isn't what I want. This is about the SCHOOL even more than about this kid. Like I said before... there has been bullying going on at this school that is being poo-pooed and swept under the rug for a long time, while they polish their public image and stand on an academic record as the best in the area.

I told my wife, I don't think he belongs there anymore. That isn't the end of the discussion, but it's a joint decision we have to make going forward.

I had to let my wife take the lead when we were having issues, I am typically pretty even tempered, but dealing with dumbassery puts me over the edge. I knew if I dealt with it there would be fallout, so fortunately she handled it, with coaching and support from me on the sidelines. Worked great that way...

 

[easy]

Teach your kid to sack up and defend himself or are you intentionally raising a pussy?

Nice thoughtful reply. Have you really read the entire thread?

 

[dennishoddy]

Nice thoughtful reply. Have you really read the entire thread?

His comments were not appropriate and was deleted.

 

[tRidiot]

I wondered why I couldn't see him. Guess he missed the part about my son being almost a black belt, yet in keeping with proper martial arts traditions has been taught self-restraint. Oh well.


Neeeeexxxxxt!!!

 

[tRidiot]

Oh, I thought it interesting, the father of the boy who was expelled have emailed my wife several times today, the last time explaining that if my son had just been more supportive of him, none of this would have happened.

 

[BryanDP]

Oh, I thought it interesting, the father of the boy who was expelled have emailed my wife several times today, the last time explaining that if my son had just been more supportive of him, none of this would have happened.

....and there's the answer to why the boy is the way he is.

Sorry for all you're going through. You should probably stick out, press charges, get all those kids expelled then leave yourself. If they don't let you out of your contract (not sure how that works) then sue them to get out of it. I somehow think you'll prevail.