School bullying and threats - what would you do?

[dennishoddy]

Oh, I thought it interesting, the father of the boy who was expelled have emailed my wife several times today, the last time explaining that if my son had just been more supportive of him, none of this would have happened.

Ahh, the kid is a special little snowflake. That explains everything.

 

[RETOKSQUID]

If the principal does not even know what is in the handbook it is time for him to find another job. We had a similar thing happen with my daughter in middle-school, took not only getting the police involved, but a visit to the school board and the principal from a lawyer to get the point across that we were seriously fed up with the BS.

 

[Mos Eisley]

Wow. Sorry to hear about all this. My boys went to public school. My oldest is a big kid and a teddy bear. Never had to worry about him. My youngest has Asperger's and is insanely smart. I always worried about him in school. I was actually surprised that not only did he never have these issues, when I saw him with the kids at his school, they always treated him really well. If you have ever known anyone with Asperger's you would know that is a challenge. Think of the movie Beautiful Mind and you'll get how my youngest interacts with others.

Hope all ends up well.

 

[MadDogs]

Keep in mind, we're talking about 2 different situations here...

1. Student in my son's class with history of being a bully makes threats of firearms use. Kids report to teacher, student is sent home. I go to police this morning, police go to school, we get call from super stating student was expelled yesterday. But all hell blows up with the kid's mom today. She has been FB posting, emailing and blah blah blah. I don't think they really expelled him yesterday, I think they were continuing to do as they have done and were trying to wait for it to blow over - until the police showed up. Now he is gone, and heading to public school.

2. Older student karate chops my son in the throat unprovoked on Friday while standing outside awaiting pickup after school. Wife takes my son in to principal, he says he will look into it. Monday he pulls my son, older student who assaulted him, and at least one witness into his office. Older student admits the story being told is true and accurate by both my son and the witness. He apologizes. Students all return to class. Not a word is heard by us. Wife goes in to talk to principal this morning and is told they are "looking into it" and deciding proper punishment, but since my son "wasn't really hurt" because he "didn't fall down", it isn't all that serious. Principal is claims unawareness of school handbook which expressly states students who commit violence against other students will be suspended or expelled, a "no-tolerance policy." He says he is talking with the parents of the student who assaulted my son and they will together determine a punishment, but we will not be told anything further due to privacy issues. He says one thing he is considering is making this student perform manual labor at the school after hours so that other students can see him being punished.* My wife recorded this discussion, but I have yet to listen to it, as from her description, I think I would be even angrier than I am now. I am trying to give it time for things to calm down...

*Personally, I dislike this option. This isn't about humiliating the kid. I'm not looking for that. I am looking for the SCHOOL to take a STAND on the issue and be consistent and firm in their implementation of their stated policy. Trying to humiliate the kid isn't the answer. I am not even all about punishing him. Although he needs to understand the consequences of assaulting another student, making him an object of public ridicule for the rest of the student body isn't what I want. This is about the SCHOOL even more than about this kid. Like I said before... there has been bullying going on at this school that is being poo-pooed and swept under the rug for a long time, while they polish their public image and stand on an academic record as the best in the area.

I told my wife, I don't think he belongs there anymore. That isn't the end of the discussion, but it's a joint decision we have to make going forward.

1) You handled that right. Kid's mother needs to look in the mirror and take responsibility.
2) Even if the kid does not have a history of being a dick/bully you are right that the school has to enforce their policy or have no policy at all. The problem in not enforcing is what happens to the school the next time some other kid smacks another? Are they saying you get one hit if the other kid does not go down? If they want to utilize manual labor as a disciplinary consequence that too is well and fine but they need to put that in the regulations otherwise there are no consequences which is the whole point. They are setting a bad precedent for the next time some kid smacks a kid.

 

[Sanford]

I was the little fat kid through junior high and there was one kid that jumped me at school and got disciplined so started jumping me any time he saw me away from school. Other kid's parents were a waste of oxygen (probably much of the reason he was such a problem) and police weren't any help - couldn't/wouldn't do anything unless they saw it happening. My father's solution was $20 to one of the older (still a minor) kids in the neighborhood to deliver a message to the one that kept jumping me. Never have known exactly what transpired as a result but the problem stopped. Just by way of pointing out that when the system fails alternative methods sometimes succeed.

 

[Mos Eisley]

I had a dog that needed to learn its place. Even the Vet told me that. It's not a pleasant solution, but sometimes the only one. That dog was a sweetheart after. Discipline.

 

[Eagle Eye]

I had a dog that needed to learn its place. Even the Vet told me that. It's not a pleasant solution, but sometimes the only one. That dog was a sweetheart after. Discipline.

Lol I had a dog like that. I called the discipline "a come to jesus" experience.

 

[HughJohnson]

Nice thoughtful reply. Have you really read the entire thread?

I read it. I do not believe the "boy" can defend hisself. If he could he would. He wouldn't go crying to his daddy. They say the apple don't fall far from the tree tho and here daddy is crying about how his son is being mistreated.

 

[HughJohnson]

His comments were not appropriate and was deleted.

You raising your kids that way to?

 

[dennishoddy]

You raising your kids that way to?

How I raised my kids is none of your business.