That is very interesting and it just sounds crazy to me but I do 100% believe you on this. I am thankful to have not experienced it and feel for those who have.
Check my reply #35…
I didn’t have anything really wrong happen to me, but I’m the same way.
It sounds weird, but I bring my own drink to most social occasions. Like a big jug of half cranberry juice and water. It tastes different enough so I don’t feel stupid for drinking water but I don’t have to approach a cooler and not reach for that ice cold Coors. Most of my friends know me and know that I won’t cave and just leave me alone about it.
Sometimes people I don’t know too well ask why I’m not drinking and try to make a big deal out of it. I tell them in a quiet voice it’s a medical condition. Lol. Solves everything super quick. People feel like assholes.
Biggest thing is to not talk about it in the social settings. You’ll get 1000 different reasons why it would be ok. Just say you're not drinking and leave it at that.
Now you’re starting to get it.
Here’s a story from the AA Big Book which some may find interesting and help explain things.
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings. Up to this point you would label him as a foolish chap having queer ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him and he is slightly injured several times in succession. You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out. Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks he breaks both legs.
On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied by his continual promises to be careful or to keep off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He tries every known means to get the jaywalking idea out of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races in front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a man would be crazy, wouldn't he?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the illustration would fit exactly. However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong language but isn't it true?
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I started by setting a limit, mine was 3 beers or drinks, ( DO NOT CROSS). If asked I would say I have things to do the next day, After some time passes and you want to you can stop altogether. Good luck, For me I just got tired of being undependable.
As mentioned only once so far God is your answer. Get saved and live for Him. All but one is about you in your own strength. God is the one who can help. Walk in the Spirit and you will not give into lust of the flesh. I wish it was easy but it is not, it takes discipline and reliance on God.
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1. Binge drinking is alcoholism, so there's that.
2. You're smart to nip it in the bud before things get way out of hand and there's permanent damage to your life.
Just take it one day at a time. Quitting drinking is hard, it's one of the few drugs that are so socially acceptable that people will make you feel weird for not indulging.
The following is NOT advice, but it is how I quit:
PRIOR to firearm ownership, I had a severe alcohol & blow problem (15+ years); I quit by replacing both with weed. Marijuana was much easier to quit than alcohol (I've been sober for years now). Take that for whatever it's worth (probably not much).
2. You're smart to nip it in the bud before things get way out of hand and there's permanent damage to your life.
Just take it one day at a time. Quitting drinking is hard, it's one of the few drugs that are so socially acceptable that people will make you feel weird for not indulging.
The following is NOT advice, but it is how I quit:
PRIOR to firearm ownership, I had a severe alcohol & blow problem (15+ years); I quit by replacing both with weed. Marijuana was much easier to quit than alcohol (I've been sober for years now). Take that for whatever it's worth (probably not much).
Hard truths for the OP -- I'm the son of an alcoholic who drank himself to death at age 53:
DENIAL - just the fact that you are attempting to deny that you are powerless over alcohol clearly marks you as an alcoholic. The quicker you accept that fact is one day closer to the path to recovery.
SOCIAL CROWD - Change it completely! You must separate yourself from the alcohol and others who use it in order to regain your own choices. For my father, it was hanging out at the local VFW hall (he was a WW2 veteran - a primary source of his need for alcohol, IMO). When he died and we held the graveside service, the local VFW commander was there and it was all my 18-year-old self could do to not physically assault the man.
PROGRAM - Get one! And it doesn't matter greatly what you choose, as long as it fits your needs and supports you when the weak moments come. Multiple possibilities have already been mentioned. My dad tried AA but couldn't ever admit his powerlessness over alcohol, thought he could he-man it. When he got hurt on the job, alcohol became his main "medicine" to the point where he died of alcohol poisoning with a blood alcohol level of .35%...over 4 TIMES the DUI level.
FAMILY - They need a program, too. Al-Anon for spouses, Al-a-Teen for the kids -- just a couple of possibilities. I'm sure there are others. They need to know what to expect and how to help. They also need to know they don't bear any responsibility for your choices so that they can make better choices for their own lives. But it's still going to be up to YOU -- they are not your jailer or your conscience.
Best Wishes and Good Luck with your choice for re-gaining power over your life! You have already seen that everybody in this thread are with you and want to see you succeed. Take advantage of me through a PM, if you wish. Get your relationships re-ordered so you'll have a full team with you!
DENIAL - just the fact that you are attempting to deny that you are powerless over alcohol clearly marks you as an alcoholic. The quicker you accept that fact is one day closer to the path to recovery.
SOCIAL CROWD - Change it completely! You must separate yourself from the alcohol and others who use it in order to regain your own choices. For my father, it was hanging out at the local VFW hall (he was a WW2 veteran - a primary source of his need for alcohol, IMO). When he died and we held the graveside service, the local VFW commander was there and it was all my 18-year-old self could do to not physically assault the man.
PROGRAM - Get one! And it doesn't matter greatly what you choose, as long as it fits your needs and supports you when the weak moments come. Multiple possibilities have already been mentioned. My dad tried AA but couldn't ever admit his powerlessness over alcohol, thought he could he-man it. When he got hurt on the job, alcohol became his main "medicine" to the point where he died of alcohol poisoning with a blood alcohol level of .35%...over 4 TIMES the DUI level.
FAMILY - They need a program, too. Al-Anon for spouses, Al-a-Teen for the kids -- just a couple of possibilities. I'm sure there are others. They need to know what to expect and how to help. They also need to know they don't bear any responsibility for your choices so that they can make better choices for their own lives. But it's still going to be up to YOU -- they are not your jailer or your conscience.
Best Wishes and Good Luck with your choice for re-gaining power over your life! You have already seen that everybody in this thread are with you and want to see you succeed. Take advantage of me through a PM, if you wish. Get your relationships re-ordered so you'll have a full team with you!
I went to a meeting last night. It’s a little focused on religion for me personally (I’m one of the resident non believers) but I’m going to give it a chance and Keep trying it out.
Try a meeting in a different location. They are independent of each other, and the tone of Meeting Place A place is different than Meeting Place 2.
It really depends on the people there.
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